This is a slightly softer musing than the last. I’ve sent another nineteen photos of my mother’s early years up to Flickr. From Janie hoisting geranium pot (small wonder I love that plant) to young Miss Hewes, ready to get on with adulthood - it gets one thinking, all this history hopping.
Yesterday I shared the art critic’s indignation that a certain Dutch painter sacrificed her ‘blazing originality’ for the minor role of mother-maid. Thereby disparaging the jobs of maids and mothers everywhere. And who’s to say, really, that a two page article in the New Yorker 400 years after the artist died - or a three page article she may have garnered, had she risen to her promise - is an apt portrait of a painter’s significance?
How exactly does your world, or mine, measure significance anyway? I find myself torn between the Hallmark approach (‘everyone is meaningful, in her own way’) and the gritty truth of lost creative drive.
My culture, still, behaves as though the bridal gown and happily-ever-after are one and the same. How many novels, movies, biopics have we all seen that end on the alter of true love? Isn’t it all a bit dated, considering the population numbers and diversity of purpose rearing up like glad dolphins all around us?
Yesterday I asked for wisdom. Just a bit of balance in my thinking so the sharp edges don’t throw me over one. Lo and behold, I found some.
Do this: scan the images of your past, distant and close. Grab inspiration when it comes and, lastly, question the significance of ‘significance.’
It may be overrated.
Early photo of Jane Sylvia Hewes, photographer unknown
- Susan Weber's blog
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Significance is hard to
Significance is hard to understand - it's one of those big, weighty words that seem to carry a lot of meaning, but are hard to pin down - like "quality" or "happiness". I had a discussion with a colleague yesterday about choosing an attorney - he kept saying he was concerned about "quality", but I couldn't really get him to say what that meant, to him.
I think the biggest challenge of being a human being is coming to terms with the space of your time on this planet. And then deciding what you want to do with that time. It's really only your opinion that counts - you don't need to live up to expectations or goals other than those that matter to you; it's your life, after all. But figuring out what does matter to you - that's hard. And accepting that your life is your own also can be scary.
For some people, parenthood is significant, important, and fulfilling. For others, it is not. Ditto art. Ditto anything you can imagine. It's OK for us to be different - and it's OK not to live up to your "potential" in one area to maximize in another, as long as what you're doing is important - to you.
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'Everybody has a secret world inside of them. All of the people of the world, I mean everybody. No matter how dull and boring they are on the outside, inside them they've all got unimaginable, magnificent, wonderful, stupid, amazing worlds. Not just one world. Hundreds of them. Thousands maybe.'
Neil Gaiman, Sandman
I'd come to similar
I'd come to similar conclusions when I wrote yesterday's post, The silent arts, about valuing our lives and the choices we make. The challenge of using the time allotted to each of us is especially great when choices like parenting, career, or artistry ask a huge commitment, whether it be preparation time, willingness to see a choice through to the end (ie. parenting) or financial investment.
What you say about not having to do everything you might potentially be very good at is so true. I've always admired dancers and somewhere in the back of my mind, I used to think I'd like to do that someday, when all my other commitments had played themselves out. Of course, that day really never comes unless you make a radical shift in priorities.
Just yesterday, I spoke to a music therapist who had once studied dance. Music Therapist is a profession for which one expects to be paid a regular salary. With dance, steady employment is less sure. I asked the music therapist if she still dances. She looked regretful, saying she does not. Then, when prodded, she admitted she dances at home - and there was a smile there.
Re: Geraniums
The whole flickr set is beautiful, and wonderful that someone at some time took the initiative to write identifying information on the pictures. I love her little hat.
She has Susan Weber eyes -- I see them in this pic and in the 13 year old pic especially.
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